1
00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,520

Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians

2
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:07,000

Dingy castles, daring knights

3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,000

Cutthroat Celts, awful Egyptians

4
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,600

Punishment from ancient times

5
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,000

Rotten, rank and ruthless

6
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Savage, fierce and toothless

7
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Mean and measly Middle Ages

8
00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,360


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00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:23,320


10
00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:25,840


11
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:27,560


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00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:31,400


13
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:34,360
Horrible Histories presents...

14
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,120
Welcome to my workshop
where I've invented some

15
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:43,760
of the greatest rodent tech
of all time.

16
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:48,080
Like the Interat, where you can use
Snaprat and Ratsapp

17
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:52,600
to squeak to your friends online,
or share funny cat videos,

18
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:54,560
or, as we call them
in the rat world,

19
00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:56,200
horror films!
(THUNDER CRASHES)

20
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,560
(MIAOW!)

21
00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:59,480
Yes, technology is all around us,

22
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:00,800
even in your home,

23
00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:03,560
from your computer to the light bulbs

24
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,240
to the lock on your front door.

25
00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,440
All of them were cutting-edge tech

26
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,480
when they were first invented,

27
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,360
although it took a bit of time

28
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,240
to perfect them. Mm.

29
00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:17,240
WOMAN: Bitsy, darling, hurry up!

30
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,600
I'd like to make a call
on my brand-new mobile phone!

31
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,080
Yes, I'm very successful.

32
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,720
Oh, the weight of this thing
is killing me!

33
00:01:24,720 --> 00:01:26,480
Oh, come on!

34
00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,000
(GRUNTS)
How bad can it be-eeeee?

35
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,200
Oh!
What is that?

36
00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:32,560
Gosh.

37
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:34,320
It's a bit on the weighty side,
isn't it?

38
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:36,040
Oh, it's over five kilos!

39
00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,920
It weighs about the same
as a fully grown cat.

40
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,960
But it's so wonderful
to be out and about

41
00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:42,320
and able to communicate.

42
00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:43,800
(KEYPAD BEEPS)
Don't mind me,

43
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:46,160
I'm just making a call
to somebody in Bristol!

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00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:48,280
The other side of the country,

45
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:50,320
right here in the street!

46
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:52,520
(PHONE RINGS)
Oh, ow, ow, ow!

47
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:53,840
I'm OK, I'm OK.
Oh!

48
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,640
I'm OK.
OK, OK.

49
00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,840
I'm OK!

50
00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,440
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Hello, Brenda.

51
00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,760
Hello!
Not you, Bitsy.

52
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,720
Oh.
Yes. No, it's me, Gwendoline.

53
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,960
I'm just calling you
from the streets of London

54
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:09,400
on my brand-new mobile phone.

55
00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:12,200
Hello? Hello?
(INTERFERENCE)

56
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,400
I think the signal's gone. Hello?

57
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,520
Hello? Hello, hello?

58
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,080
Ah, there you are. Yes.

59
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,840
No, it's ever so convenient,
actually.

60
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,720
Yes, it did cost a lot of money,
actually.

61
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,600
Almost as much as a luxury holiday!

62
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,640
But it's so great not to be stuck
at home with a boring normal phone.

63
00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,360
I know...
(BEEPING)

64
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,240
Brenda? Brenda?

65
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,600
Hello? Brenda! (GROANS) Oh!

66
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,880
It's out of batteries!

67
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,960
Battery life only lasts 35 minutes.
What?

68
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,680
We could go back home
and charge it if you like.

69
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:43,280
Oh! But it's supposed to be mobile!
What's the point?

70
00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,760
I'll go and get the car.

71
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,480
No, because I had to sell the car
to pay for the phone.

72
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,600
(SIGHS)

73
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,320
It's fine, we'll just...

74
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:51,320
..just walk.

75
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,880
Here we go. OK, ah!

76
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:55,840
Oh. Yeah.

77
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,600
Ah, Robert Dudley, my favourite
Earl of Leicester.

78
00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,160
To what does one owe the pleasure?

79
00:03:02,160 --> 00:03:04,520
Your Majesty, I have brought you

80
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,880
a new year's gift.

81
00:03:06,880 --> 00:03:09,760
Oh, a prezzie for little old me!
(CHUCKLES)

82
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:11,400
Well, it's too small to be a castle.

83
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,960
(BOX RATTLES)

84
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:15,400
It doesn't sound like a new country.
(CHUCKLES)

85
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,080
It's... Ah, what is it?

86
00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,320
It's an arm watch,

87
00:03:19,320 --> 00:03:23,000
one of the very first of its kind
in England.

88
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:26,920
It's a beautiful bracelet
with a teeny clock inside.

89
00:03:26,920 --> 00:03:28,920
Why?
Well, er...

90
00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:33,000
..it means that you'll know the time
no matter where you go.

91
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,280
Er, I already know the time.

92
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,560
When I wake up, it's morning,

93
00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,720
when my tummy rumbles,
it's yum-yum time...

94
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,200
Yum-yum time.
..and when I yawn,

95
00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:42,920
it's time for bed.

96
00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,520
No rumbles yet.
Give it about an hour, Thomas.

97
00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,600
See?

98
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,400
With this arm watch, you'll know
when an hour has passed.

99
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,800
If I were to ask you to meet me
for a stroll in the gardens

100
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,280
at, say, 10:00 in the morning,

101
00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,520
you'd know when to meet me.

102
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,320
And how will you know
what time to meet me

103
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,440
for this stroll in the gardens?

104
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:02,920
Well, I suppose, like everyone else,

105
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,360
I'd have to walk into the town
and look at the town clock.

106
00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:07,480
Oh, yeah?

107
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,480
Of course it would take me
a little time to walk back.

108
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,200
And you'd better not be late
for our walk, Dudley.

109
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:16,360
It's incredibly expensive,

110
00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,040
covered in diamonds and rubies.

111
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,480
Everyone's going to be totes jelly!

112
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,080
Oh, why didn't you say so?
I'll keep it!

113
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:26,120
Oh!
Oh, Giles?

114
00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:27,600
Yes, Your Majesty.

115
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,240
Er, yep, you're late.
Take him to the Tower.

116
00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,760
What, why?

117
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,720
Should have got yourself
an arm watch, mate.

118
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,880
Yes, he should have WATCHED out!
Oh, ho-ho! Very good!

119
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,240
(CLOCK TICKS)

120
00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:41,560
MAN: Welcome to Bletchley Park.

121
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:44,760
I'm Thomas Flowers,
principal engineer and designer of...

122
00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:47,920
..Colossus, the world's first
electronic computer.

123
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,560
During the Second World War,
with the help of the Colossus,

124
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:52,840
we were able to crack
German army codes

125
00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:55,200
so we could read
their secret messages.

126
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,160
And that helped us win the war.

127
00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,520
(KEYBOARD CLACKING)

128
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,840
OK, I'll just go
and get the printer.

129
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,320
(GRUNTS)

130
00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:04,760
Right.

131
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:07,440
The machines even printed out
the codes for us.

132
00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:09,400
But tell me,
what was the problem

133
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,480
with the Colossus Number 7's printer?

134
00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:12,680
Did it...?

135
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,880
The answer is B.

136
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:24,880
The printer's motion was so fierce
that it made the machine shuffle

137
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:27,680
across the room
until it unplugged itself.

138
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,160
(WHIRRING)

139
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,320
It happened so much we had
to tie it down with these ropes...

140
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,200
MAN: Argh! Get out of the way!
(CRASHING)

141
00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,200
(WOMAN SCREAMS)

142
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:37,640
Oh, probably should
have tied that down

143
00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:39,000
before I switched it on, shouldn't I?

144
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,000
Come back!
(CRASHING)

145
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,360
When you think
of cutting-edge technology,

146
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,320
you might think of 3D printers,
electric bikes

147
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,760
or a sausage pen.

148
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,400
It's both a pen and a sausage.

149
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:54,200
I invented that one.

150
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,760
Yes, our homes are filled
with technology

151
00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,400
that people from history would think
was really bougie.

152
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,280
Some of it was deliberately
designed to solve problems,

153
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,560
but other things were discovered
completely by accident.

154
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,360
Look, it's a sausage AND a pen.

155
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,000
It's never been done before.

156
00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:15,040
MAN: Dr Percy Spencer?
Yes?

157
00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:17,240
This had better
be a major breakthrough

158
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:18,920
in military technology, Doctor.

159
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,080
I have an hour and 45 minutes

160
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,160
until my jacket potato
is ready for lunch.

161
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,800
Then I think you'll be glad
you came, sir. Recognise this?

162
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,400
Ah, yes, the cavity magnetron.

163
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:31,680
Hmm, a bit of kit that uses a type
of radiation called microwaves

164
00:06:31,680 --> 00:06:34,600
to detect enemy aircraft and ships.

165
00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:36,200
I've read the briefing, Doctor.

166
00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,200
But last night, sir, I was working
next to the magnetron

167
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:42,360
when something...curious happened.

168
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,680
What are you looking at?

169
00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:48,360
Oh, I was just
remembering something.

170
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,920
I was working late in my lab.

171
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,240
Unknown to me,
the magnetron was still on.

172
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,720
I felt a tingling sensation

173
00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,960
run through my entire body.
(SQUELCH!)

174
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,880
But once the tingling stopped,

175
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:04,160
I was left with something warm,
soft, brown

176
00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:05,800
in my pocket.

177
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,600
Is this really something
you want to be sharing?

178
00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,880
Absolutely.

179
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,840
It had a familiar smell,
but I still couldn't be sure,

180
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,800
so I did what any good
scientist would do.

181
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,280
Ew! Gross!

182
00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:19,040
No, sir, I was talking
about chocolate.

183
00:07:19,040 --> 00:07:20,080
Chocolate?

184
00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:21,920
I had a bar in my back pocket
and it melted.

185
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,080
Why, what did you think?
Er, no, look!

186
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,200
What I'm trying to say here, sir,
is the microwaves emitted

187
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,720
from the magnetron,
heated the chocolate in my pocket

188
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,200
and cooked it.

189
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:33,320
And it works on stuff
like corn, as well.

190
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,240
Here, sir, you'll want
to brace yourself.

191
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,640
Brace myself for what?

192
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,200
Oh, you'll see.
(WHIRRING)

193
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,320
Ah, we're taking fire!

194
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,040
No, sir.
(WHIRRING STOPS)

195
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:43,200
We're making popcorn.

196
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:46,080
I believe I've invented
some kind of cooking machine.

197
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,400
Fascinating.
It seems to heat things up

198
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,240
much, much faster
than with a traditional oven.

199
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:54,440
So, no more waiting
for your lunchtime jacket potato.

200
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,800
Oh, I'll have to take this
to the joint chiefs.

201
00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:58,160
Oh, my microwave cooker?

202
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,320
No, popcorn. They love snacks.

203
00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:01,600
What else can this thing do?

204
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:04,400
Well, I was just about
to try it out with an egg.

205
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:08,200
(DEVICE WHIRRS)

206
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,200
(SPLAT!)

207
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,480
"Less time for egg."

208
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,200
Ahem, watch and learn, Grover.

209
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,360
Yes?
Madam,

210
00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:27,000
I'm Hubert Cecil Booth
of the Vacuum Cleaner Company Ltd,

211
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,360
and I'm here to offer you
the opportunity of a lifetime.

212
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:31,400
Ooh!

213
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,680
Let me introduce Puffing Billy...
(FANFARE PLAYS)

214
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,720
..the first petrol-powered
vacuum cleaner,

215
00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,600
available to you
for just a small fee.

216
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:41,080
Ooh, how exciting!

217
00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,440
Switch on
her five-horsepower engine,

218
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,600
and she will suck the dirt
right out of your house.

219
00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,320
(MACHINE WHIRRS)
Oh!

220
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,520
Ooh.

221
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,640
Whoa! Oh!

222
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,720
Well, I suppose
it does seem effective. Do come in.

223
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,520
Oh! Ooh!

224
00:08:57,520 --> 00:08:59,720
Madam, today's your lucky day.
(SQUAWK!)

225
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,440
I've sold machines like this

226
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,960
to the German Emperor William II,

227
00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,040
Tsar Nicholas II of Russia

228
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:08,480
and Sultan Abdul Hamid
in Constantinople.

229
00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:10,560
Oh, gosh, that is impressive.

230
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:11,920
Turn her on, Grover.

231
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:12,960
Right you are, boss!

232
00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,760
Oh, it's doing a wonderful job!

233
00:09:16,760 --> 00:09:18,120
Yeah, I came up with the idea

234
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,720
by sucking dirt from a chair
through some cloth with my mouth,

235
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,760
like this.

236
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,440
Oh, please don't do that.

237
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:26,280
Sorry.
Urgh!

238
00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:27,960
How about paying us
to do the whole house?

239
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,920
We could start at the bottom
and go all the way up to the top.

240
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,280
All the way up to the top!
Full power it is, boss.

241
00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:36,480
Oh, no! Oh, no!

242
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,040
Just a few teething troubles.

243
00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,160
This didn't happen

244
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,360
when my invention cleaned
Westminster Abbey

245
00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:45,160
for King Edward VII's coronation.

246
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,400
Oh, whoa!
(SQUAWK!)

247
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,360
Captain Peck!
Turn it off!

248
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,520
Turn it up? It's already on full.

249
00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,880
What's going on? Oh!

250
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,880
Oh, no!
(Argh!

251
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,880
Oh, well, I think we can agree

252
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,480
the room is spotless.

253
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,320
Argh! Whoa!
Oh!

254
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:06,400
Boss, I think we've got a blockage.

255
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,720
You don't say.
Hmm.

256
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,000
Ah, Gladys, you're back.

257
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,200
I trust you had a smashing vacation.

258
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,160
I did, thank you, ma'am.

259
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,880
And I just wanted to apologise
for chipping the china

260
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,920
on the day I left.
Oh!

261
00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:24,360
Think no more on it.

262
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:25,920
Are you sure you're not mad at me,
ma'am?

263
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,360
No, no! It was just
my best 350-year-old

264
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,680
priceless family china.
Right.

265
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:37,360
It's just the other maids said
you had a rather extreme reaction.

266
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,480
Would one call inventing
a whole machine that washes dishes

267
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:43,280
just so you can't
break them anymore extreme?

268
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,080
You invented a dish-washing machine?

269
00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,120
Whoa!

270
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,920
It was either that
or I do the dishes myself,

271
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,000
which would have been extreme.

272
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:55,960
What exactly does this dish-washing
machine of yours do?

273
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,720
It washes dishes.

274
00:10:57,720 --> 00:11:00,280
It removes dirt and the possibility

275
00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:03,680
of clumsy human beings
smashing my crockery.

276
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,880
(SHOUTS) Don't smash that, too!

277
00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:09,000
I just wanted to see how it worked.

278
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:13,960
It's simply a wheel mounted
inside a copper boiler

279
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,440
which gently turns
the delicate dishes

280
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,240
through the soapy water,

281
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:21,040
instead of smashing them together

282
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,600
like an angry cavewoman. Ha-ha!

283
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,280
Which I can only assume
is your technique.

284
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,960
Oh!
People adore my idea.

285
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:32,840
I've already had several orders
from hotels and restaurants.

286
00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:37,120
It might be the first commercially
successful dishwasher in history.

287
00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:39,400
I expect I will be quite rich.

288
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,720
As long as you're not angry,
I shall go about my duties.

289
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,120
Oh!

290
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,480
Excellent!

291
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:48,320
Of course those duties will no longer
include dish smashing.

292
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,960
You mean dish washing.

293
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,160
I know what I mean.

294
00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:53,640
(DOOR SLAMS)

295
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,240
Did you know computers were invented
thousands of years ago?

296
00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,440
Well, kind of.

297
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,000
Come on, give me 20 seconds.

298
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,440
I'll convince you. Ready? Go!

299
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:06,080
Charles Babbage invented the first
thing you recognise as a computer,

300
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,440
the Analytical Engine, back in 1833.

301
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,920
It was used for calculations.

302
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,520
The first calculator
was made in 1623,

303
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,200
and thousands of years before that,
they used abacuses.

304
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,920
And even before the abacus came,
the Ishango bone,

305
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,440
which was from about 20,000 years ago

306
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,560
and might well have been used
for counting and calculating.

307
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,080
So, in a way, that makes it
a kind of computer. Whew!

308
00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,760
MAN: Where's Daddy's
little princess?

309
00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:30,560
Hey, I've got a surprise for you!

310
00:12:30,560 --> 00:12:32,360
Oh, Dad, you haven't!

311
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:33,760
It isn't...?

312
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,560
It is, come on! Ha-ha!

313
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,840
Eek!
I got you

314
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,680
your very own Ishango bone!

315
00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:44,080
Yeah! Or what you kids like
to call it, 'iBone', innit?

316
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,640
Thanks, Dad. It's just I was
kind of hoping for the iBone 5.

317
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,520
What? There's nothing wrong
with the 4!

318
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,160
This Ishango bone
is topnotch technology, no?

319
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,040
Literally! They're notches.
Look, 168 etchings.

320
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,680
It's just I was kind of holding out

321
00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:59,320
for the one with the extra
notches on the side.

322
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,920
Ah, you don't need extra
notches on the side.

323
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,840
Look, you've got the lines there
that you can count

324
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,120
and do your times tables.

325
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,280
OK.

326
00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,800
Look, look. Two rows
there that add up to 60,

327
00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:11,040
and then one in the middle
that adds up to 48.

328
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,760
You could use it to count
the phases of the moon.

329
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:15,000
Is that the biggest one they had?

330
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:18,960
Listen, this is genuine
baboon fibula.

331
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,480
(GRUNTS)

332
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:23,240
Straight from the baboon's leg!
Hmm.

333
00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:25,280
It's just my friend said
that it's difficult to spot

334
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,480
the difference between the baboon's
one and the knock-off.

335
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,000
This one has got the quartz
fixed to the end.

336
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,040
Yeah. So you could do
your engravings and that.

337
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:38,000
Aw, thanks, Dad! I love it!
Hey-hey!

338
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,080
I know how you young people
like your latest gadgets and that.

339
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,520
Although I'll probably just use it
for games and stuff.

340
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,960
Pow-pow-pow! Take that!

341
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,080
Look at that, she loves it.
Pow-pow-pow!

342
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,680
Notches in bones, eh?
What will they think of next?

343
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,560
(SCREECHING)
Oh, oh!

344
00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,560
Watch out for the angry
one-legged baboon!

345
00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,000
Ow! Ooh!

346
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,440
ANNOUNCER: Welcome
to Historical Dragons' Den,

347
00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:01,600
where inventors from history
come to pitch their creations

348
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:03,480
to our modern business dragons.

349
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:08,080
Our dragons are looking

350
00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:09,920
to put their own money
into the right project.

351
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,240
And the first historical
inventor before them

352
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:13,440
is Nikola Tesla.

353
00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,280
An early pioneer of electricity,

354
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:17,360
can his new bit of tech
shock them into investing?

355
00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:21,040
Hello, Dragons. Grr! Pfff-pfff!

356
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,560
Pffffffrp! Pffffffrp!

357
00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:25,120
I don't know why I did that. Sorry.

358
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:28,080
So, Mr Tesla, I've heard
lots of exciting things

359
00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,120
about your work with electric motors
and how to power them.

360
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,080
Have you got something electrifying

361
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,320
for us today?

362
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:35,760
(CHUCKLES)
I certainly have.

363
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,320
You're my favourite.

364
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,040
Presenting
the mechanical oscillator,

365
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:42,880
powered by compressed air.

366
00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,040
Ta-da!

367
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,240
What does it do?
Allow me to demonstrate

368
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:49,160
using one of the greatest
American novelists.

369
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,960
It's Mr Mark Twain! Woo!

370
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,360
Hello, Dragons. Nikola.

371
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,480
Can Tesla's vibrating machine

372
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:57,920
shake our dragons into investing?

373
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:02,080
(MACHINE REVS, JUDDERS)
Ooh-hoo-hoo!

374
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,400
I'd shake you by the hand, Mr Twain,

375
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,800
but you're shaking enough already.

376
00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:07,960
It is a very pleasant sensation.

377
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,480
(PARP!) Woo!

378
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,800
It gives you vigour and vitality!

379
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:12,320
It certainly gives him something.

380
00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,880
You'll see the genius
of my machine any minute now.

381
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,240
(PARP!) Oh!
Is there a toilet nearby?

382
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:19,920
As in very nearby? (PARP!)

383
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,120
It's just, er, over there.
(PARP!)

384
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,160
Although from the sounds of it,
I think it might be too late.

385
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:26,720
So, you've invented a machine

386
00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:29,600
that makes famous novelists
poo themselves?

387
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,760
That's right.

388
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,840
Now, who wants to invest?

389
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:35,280
Like the contents
of Mr Twain's bottom, I'm out.

390
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,760
ANNOUNCER: A blow for Tesla.

391
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:41,320
With Deborah out, will Peter or Sara
invest in his poo platform?

392
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:42,680
Does it do anything else?

393
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,760
What else does it need to do?

394
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,480
It is fantastic.
Would any of you like to try it out?

395
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,720
I'll give it a try.

396
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,320
Sit down, Peter.
Oh!

397
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,440
No-one wants to see
a dragon poop on TV.

398
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,000
With the greatest of respect,
I'm out, too.

399
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,760
(PARP!)
Oh, no.

400
00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,280
No, no, no, Mr Twain,

401
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,480
that's not the toilet -
that's the lift.

402
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,600
(SQUELCH!)
Too late.

403
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,640
MARK TWAIN: Oh! Anyone invented
self-cleaning pants?

404
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,480
A vibrating poo platform?

405
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:10,920
I'd invest.

406
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,440
Sadly, that bit of tech
isn't still around,

407
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,960
but a lot of old technology is,

408
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,640
like the bow and arrow. Oh! Huh.

409
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:19,960
Still used today,

410
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:24,440
this game-changing bit of kit
was invented to make hunting easier

411
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:26,840
in prehistoric times. Mm.

412
00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:31,200
Sire.
Hm.

413
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:32,360
I think you'll be impressed.

414
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:34,960
I've invented a new weapon
that will revolutionise hunting.

415
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,520
Oh, exciting.

416
00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:38,960
I started with a small
sharpened piece of bone.

417
00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,240
But that is tiny.

418
00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:42,760
You will never catch a lion
with this. Look.

419
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,560
Did that hurt?
Uh, well, a little bit.

420
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,120
No, it didn't.
OK, but I hadn't finished.

421
00:16:48,120 --> 00:16:51,080
You see, next, I glued it
to the end of a piece of wood.

422
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:52,840
Ah, you are wasting your time.

423
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,840
Look, this is the smallest spear
I have ever seen.

424
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:56,680
Hm.
You will never catch a vicious beast

425
00:16:56,680 --> 00:16:58,280
with this child's toy. Look.

426
00:16:58,280 --> 00:16:59,720
Ah!
Did that hurt?

427
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,200
It hurt quite a lot, actually.
No, again.

428
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,440
What if I said I could hurl
this tiny spear a vast distance

429
00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:07,720
and hit a target using this?
(BOING!)

430
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,520
Interesting. Let me have a go.

431
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,280
Hmm.

432
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,280
Ah!
Ah, useless!

433
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,000
This will never catch a leopard.

434
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,440
I wouldn't be so sure. Aaaah!

435
00:17:19,440 --> 00:17:20,920
Watch me, Sire.

436
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,120
Oh, impressive!

437
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:26,680
Mm-mm.

438
00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:28,920
So I hold it like this?

439
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:30,680
Right.
(TWANG!)

440
00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,040
Ow!
Ooh!

441
00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:33,360
Oh!
Sire!

442
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,200
I would have hit the target
if he didn't get in the way.

443
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,640
Let me have another go.

444
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,920
I think I'll stand over here.

445
00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,120
Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh!
OK. This is the one.

446
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,880
Fire.

447
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,440
Ooh!
Argh! Oh!

448
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,280
It's broken.
Ah!

449
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,440
Try again but round the other way.
Yeah, that way.

450
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:50,880
Oh-oh!
Yes.

451
00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,680
OK. Round this way, alright.
Run away, run away, runaway.

452
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,680
Aaaaargh!
Oh, er...

453
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,600
Where is it?
Ah! Ah, it's here.

454
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,920
I mean, the bow round the other way.

455
00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:04,000
Yes.
Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no!

456
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,320
I'm getting out of here!
(GRUNTS)

457
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:09,120
Ooh!
Aaaargh! (SOBS)

458
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,400
Look.

459
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,120
It's bound to take a bit
of getting used to.

460
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:13,480
Hmm.
A bit!

461
00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,320
I'm pretty sure I'm getting
the hang of this now.

462
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,440
Please, please, please, please,
please

463
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,960
You did it!

464
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:22,680
(ALL LAUGH)

465
00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,040
Amazing!

466
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:27,120
You have invented a tool
that can fire small spears.

467
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,320
I call it a bow and arrow.

468
00:18:30,320 --> 00:18:32,240
The bow and arrow!

469
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,880
Er, actually the other way,

470
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,480
but it doesn't matter.

471
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,000
Ah!

472
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,720
Hey, there, peasant farmer!
Oh! Oi!

473
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,680
What are you doing
creeping about like that?

474
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,240
Sorry. I'm a bit nervous, you see?

475
00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,800
First day as a salesman.

476
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:50,520
Right. Ahem, hello, sir-slash-madam.

477
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,400
I wanted to see
if you were interested

478
00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:53,840
in the offer of a lifetime.

479
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,000
I'm busy. I have to till
these fields before sundown,

480
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,480
and it takes ages with these tools.

481
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,200
I have to plant the seed
or we won't have grain,

482
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,720
and my children will starve.

483
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,080
But that's exactly why I'm here.
You want to adopt Kenny?

484
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,760
What? No, no, no, no, no, no.
Worth a try.

485
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,120
I want to sell you something.

486
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,480
It's called the plough.

487
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,360
Can't eat that.
It's made out of wood.

488
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,560
You don't eat this -
you farm with it!

489
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,000
A demonstration
of the tech of the future.

490
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,760
So, you drag it like this.

491
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:22,640
The spike digs out a channel
behind you.

492
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,840
Then you just drop in the seeds
as you go.

493
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:27,960
Now, the plough uses
a highly scientific concept

494
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,320
known as 'pulling'.

495
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,760
Alright, if this "ploo" is so good,

496
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:33,000
why haven't I heard of it before?

497
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,400
Plough.
Play.

498
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,480
Plough.
Plah.

499
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:36,880
Say it with me, plough.
Pa-lee.

500
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,440
We'll work on it.
It's only just been invented.

501
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,120
You know what, let me just show you

502
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,800
how good this plough really is.

503
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,320
Fine! But I don't think
it's going to work.

504
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,920
See how easy this is?

505
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,920
Hmm.

506
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,360
You can do this field in seconds, eh?

507
00:19:49,360 --> 00:19:50,520
Oh!

508
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,520
No, um...I'm still not convinced,
you know?

509
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,280
I might need a longer demonstration,
so just keep going.

510
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,320
Better to watch an expert like you
show me how it's done, innit?

511
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:01,200
I am an expert.

512
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,640
(SOFTLY) Idiot.

513
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,760
You crack on, mate. I'm just going
to nip off for a second.

514
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,680
I'll be...I'll be right back.

515
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:07,800
Oh.

516
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:10,240
Oh, yeah, bringing more customers?
I love it!

517
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,840
Bring the whole neighbourhood.

518
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,880
ANNOUNCER: With the lift hosed down
and the windows open,

519
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,360
the Dragons are welcoming their next
historical hopeful to the den -

520
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,000
Chinese mathematician,
astronomer, inventor,

521
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,040
engineer, scholar and artist
Zhang Heng.

522
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,600
Hello, Dragons.

523
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,640
Sometimes called the da Vinci
of Ancient China,

524
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:32,600
can he artfully get our Dragons
to invest?

525
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,480
Mr Zhang Heng,
what have you brought to show us?

526
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:37,880
This is Houfeng Didong Yi.

527
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:40,600
It is one of the first devices
to detect earthquakes.

528
00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,000
Your device is obviously
way ahead of its time.

529
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,560
How does it work?

530
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:46,600
If any vibrations in the ground
are detected,

531
00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,960
a ball is shaken
from the dragon's mouth

532
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,960
in the direction
of the earthquake's source.

533
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,040
(RUMBLING)

534
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:54,160
I think the design is charming.

535
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:57,280
ANNOUNCER: Very few people move
the unshakeable Dragons,

536
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,080
so could this be a great sign?

537
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:01,320
I'm confused. How is it making
this building shake?

538
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,600
It's not. It's detecting
quite a big earthquake.

539
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:05,200
We should really run.

540
00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:07,160
We're all in!

541
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,000
Someone save the cash!

542
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:12,720
Looks like Zhang's tech has really
brought the house down.

543
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,800
Hello, I'm Thomas Edison,
one of the greatest

544
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,520
and most inventive minds ever
to have lived.

545
00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:22,480
I suffered with quite
bad hearing loss,

546
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,480
so when my musician friend
Hans Von Bulow visited

547
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,760
so I could record him
playing the piano on the phonograph,

548
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,640
how did I listen along to it?

549
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,920
Did I...?

550
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:42,600
The answer is B.

551
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,200
I bit the instruments.

552
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,440
The sound vibrations would travel
through my teeth,

553
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,440
then through my skull
and into the hearing nerve

554
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:49,560
inside my head.

555
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:50,680
It's genius!

556
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,640
OK, Hans, hit it!

557
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,200
(PIANO PLAYS)

558
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,480
(MUFFLED) Oh, yeah!

559
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:58,400
This is a real banger.

560
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,640

The living toilet poo man

561
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,640

With a bucket so that you can

562
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:09,200


563
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:12,160

To hide your face

564
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,480

And then you're done

565
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,960

if you did a two or one

566
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,800


567
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,800
ANNOUNCER: Please welcome
today's historical figure

568
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,200
who really needs the loo -

569
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,240
Hedy Lamarr!

570
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,240
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

571
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:34,560
Greetings, friend.

572
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:38,440
Are you the 1940s superstar
film actor Hedy Lamarr,

573
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:41,360
also known as the most
beautiful girl in the world?

574
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,560
(LAUGHTER)
Yes, I...I suppose I am.

575
00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:46,720
Sorry, I was hoping
to, erm, use the bathroom.

576
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:47,760
(PARP!)

577
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:51,400
(CHUCKLES) Well, you're in luck,
for I am Loo Man!

578
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:52,760
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

579
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,280
You, Hedy Lamarr,
have been transported through time

580
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:56,560
from the 1940s

581
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,560
through a mechanism too complicated
to explain.

582
00:22:58,560 --> 00:22:59,840
Oh, I don't know.

583
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:02,040
I'm also an engineer
and inventor, so...

584
00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,520
AUDIENCE: Ooh!
Hold on. As well as a film star?

585
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:08,960
Yes, er, I invented a cube
that you could drop into water

586
00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,360
to make a refreshing
drink, like cola.

587
00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,360
Does it work with all liquids?
No.

588
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:14,800
No. No.
(LAUGHTER)

589
00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:16,360
Well, that's a shame.

590
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,880
Plop Quiz!

591
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,440
What is happening?

592
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,640
Answer questions one and two,
and I'll let you do a...

593
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:23,840
LOO MAN AND AUDIENCE: Poo!

594
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,560
Please can we be quick?

595
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:28,680
I've got a couple of extras wanting
to make their grand entrance.

596
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:30,680
(PARP!)
Say no more. Question number one.

597
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,080
You were in films
like Samson And Delilah

598
00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,840
and Boom Town -
that one sounds good.

599
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,960
But tell me about some of your tech.

600
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,160
OK, during the Second World War,

601
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:42,600
I invented a piece of technology

602
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,200
to help the war effort.

603
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,600
It was called
a Frequency Hopping Guided System.

604
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,360
If my customers had a guided system,

605
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:49,920
I'd have to mop the floor
a lot less.

606
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,680
(LAUGHTER)

607
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,120
It's horrible, actually.

608
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,600
It was a radio signal
that couldn't be hacked,

609
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,080
so the Nazis couldn't interfere
with our torpedoes.

610
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:00,600
(PARP!)

611
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,920
Sounds like you want to launch
a torpedo yourself, love.

612
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,360
Question number two.

613
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,280
Do you think you'll leave
a lasting legacy,

614
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,880
aside from that smell?

615
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:12,320
Well, apparently the work I did
on the Frequency Hopping System

616
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,640
was later vital to the development
of Bluetooth and Wi-Fi.

617
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:16,880
(PARP!)
Ooh!

618
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:18,640
Well, I don't know about Wi-Fi,

619
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,920
but I know that that
was really whiffy.

620
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,880
Hedy Lamarr,
it's been an absolute pleasure.

621
00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,200
You may pass.
Oh!

622
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,640
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

623
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,120
Time to release a blockbuster!
(PARP! SQUELCH!)

624
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,800
Well, I know I'll be tuning in.
(LAUGHTER)

625
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,600
Join me next time
when I'll be stopping

626
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:33,720
another historical celeb
from taking a poo,

627
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,840
to ask questions just for you.

628
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:37,640
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

629
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:45,200
Well, I've been working hard,
and I've created some brand-new tech.

630
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:48,720
Presenting Rattus 2.0!

631
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:54,200
I call it RatGPT.

632
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,840
(LAUGHS)

633
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,720
He's going to do my job for me,

634
00:24:57,720 --> 00:25:00,360
while I lie on a beach somewhere.

635
00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:04,080
Thomas Edison was one of history's
busiest tech whizzes,

636
00:25:04,080 --> 00:25:06,680
creating over 1,000 inventions.

637
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,440
See? He's amazing!

638
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:11,360
And they don't have to pay me.

639
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:13,840
Edison helped develop electricity,

640
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:15,920
sound recording, cinema

641
00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:18,080
and even X-rays.

642
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,360
Hang on, this thing could
put me out of a job!

643
00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:23,720
Here's Edison
to tell you everything.

644
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:27,720
Take it away...away...awa...
(INTERFERENCE)

645
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,880
Oh! Phew, he's broken!

646
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,320
And thank goodness for that.

647
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:34,880
I think I'll leave this tech lark
to the experts.

648
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,800
(MUSIC TO THE TUNE OF SMELLS LIKE
TEEN SPIRIT BY NIRVANA PLAYS)

649
00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,760

at all the things

650
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:51,960

the phone that rings

651
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:56,040

the things you view

652
00:25:56,040 --> 00:25:59,920


653
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:02,480


654
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:04,200


655
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,640


656
00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:11,120


657
00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:12,960


658
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:15,680


659
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:17,200


660
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,680


661
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,880


662
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,360


663
00:26:23,360 --> 00:26:25,200


664
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,400


665
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,480


666
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:32,600


667
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,160


668
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,160


669
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:45,560


670
00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,280


671
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,680


672
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,280


673
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,720


674
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,520


675
00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:01,840

when the thing rings

676
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,960


677
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,320


678
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:09,880


679
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:13,920


680
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:15,800


681
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,280


682
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:21,600


683
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:25,760


684
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:29,280


685
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:33,400


686
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,160

is this dangerous?

687
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:41,760

made me famous

688
00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:43,040


689
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,200
When Americans say,
"I want to go plop..."

690
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:53,280
(LAUGHTER)

691
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:56,800
I'll be stopping more historical
celebrities from taking a poo...

692
00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,400
(LAUGHTER)

693
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,920
There'll be music playing.
(LAUGHTER)

694
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,760


695
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,840

Horrible Histories.

696
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:08,840
Captions by Red Bee Media

697
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,840
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation